Dear Taco Bell

Dear Taco Bell on Pleasant Hill,

I have been a customer for a few months, and while I appreciate the tastiness you offer, I also had a few things I wanted to bring up regarding your customer service. Please understand that I mean this only as constructive criticism, and I hope we can continue to be friends.

When I go to the counter to order my food and the employee at the register is silent and stares at me for twenty seconds, I become slightly unnerved. I know that my beauty is overwhelming to many people, but surely by now everyone at your store has developed a way to cope with that. It's very awkward to have to clear my throat approximately seven times and then ask to order while also trying to convince my husband not to say something rude to you. You might also consider not yawning in the middle of someone's order and then asking them to repeat everything you missed while yawning.

At the drive-thru, the service is much prompter, but please don't ask for my order and then get annoyed that I gave you my order before you were ready. When you ask me for it, I assume this means you are ready, and if this is not the case I sincerely apologize. We just need to break down these barriers of communication, and you might consider having your employees take a speed-typing course.

Also, when I arrive at the window to pay for my food, seeing every employee in the store all facing the kitchen and looking horrified does not inspire a lot of confidence in your customers. Call me old-fashioned, but when the employees of Taco Bell are so freaked out they can only stare, phrases like "Call the CDC" come to mind.

One thing you have done extremely well, Taco Bell on Pleasant Hill: You have wiped out all other Taco Bells in a two-mile radius, thus ensuring that even if you serve me the wrong food twelve times in a row, I will always be back to try again. Well done, Taco Bell. Well done.

Sincerely,

Kristen.