Seek and you will find

Monday, June 18, 2012

The Hydrangea

My mother's birthday was last week. We celebrated today. We're kind of slackers. But we're not total slackers because we did get her what she wanted: A blue flowering hydrangea. Seems simple enough, right? Wrong. So wrong. The wrongest. 

My sister took the first turn - she went to Lowe's. No luck. She went to Pike's. No luck. She then passed the baton to me as I was leaving work and had a little more time. I went to a different Lowe's. No luck. I went to Wal-Mart. When I asked for a hydrangea the plant lady wandered around in a circle for a minute, looked at me, and shrugged. No luck. 

Then I went to another Pike's. My sister had called ahead so we knew there was potential here. But we'd been burned before, so I was cautious. I walked in and found myself surrounded by plants, trees, flowers, and various other unidentifiable foliage. Surely the hydrangea I sought must be nearby. 

The only problem was that for all the items filling the room, people were not one of them. I am not what you would call a botanist. I'm more what you would call a plant killer. I know a hydrangea when I see one but I had no idea where to look. This place was like the Taj Mahal of plants. And there were categories: 

"Outdoor Plants." opposed to what?
"Flowering Plants." Yes, there. That was the one I wanted.
"Flowering Hedge Bushes." ...or was THAT the one I wanted.
"Hanging Plants." I did not want my plant to be suicidal. 

It wasn't going well. I was getting scared. Navigating that place was like running a 10k while blindfolded and being chased by drunken chihuahuas with cattle prods. But finally I saw the light - a man walking down the aisle, wearing - wait for it - a PIKE'S EMPLOYEE SHIRT. HALLELUJAH. 

"Can you tell me where the hydrangeas are?"

The man just stared back at me. I started to worry. Was I saying it wrong? Had I actually asked about some sort of child cult by accident? He stared some more. I stared back. After a long time, he turned, looked over the whole plant room (nursery?), and said very quickly, "It's down over there to the left," pointed, and walked away.


I eventually did find the hydrangea. It was pretty and seemed small enough to carry. So I picked it up. Stay tuned for my next post: How To Walk To Your Car While Carrying Deceptively Heavy Plants. 

"Won't anyone ever find me?"

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