The thing about those movies is that while I don't dislike them, I never walk away from them thinking, "I hope they have six sequels like Harry Potter did!" Daniel, on the other hand, loves them. He is all about Tactics and Strategy and Guns and Other Manly Things. He was so into it that all of my hilariously-timed jokes throughout the movie merely seemed to annoy him. Weird.
So I found a new way to occupy myself: I imagined Jason Bourne doing everyday things but as a crazy ninja spy. And then I found myself planning the next few Bourne movies and their subsequent trailers... **cue action hero music**
1) The Bourne Quesadilla: Jason Bourne is not someone you want to mess with on an ordinary day. But when you mess up his order at Taco Bell, you better prepare yourself for an intense showdown. It's Bourne vs. the teenage employees of the Suwanee Taco Bell in this epic thriller. Sure, Bourne is a trained killer - but these kids have hot sauce and aren't afraid to use it. Will Bourne get his order? Will the Taco Bell be able to continue serving others in a timely fashion while most of their employees shoot the AK 47s in the back? What will happen to the quesadilla? This summer, we all find out.
|Tasty triangles or deadly throwing knives?|
|Will the beads be too much for our hero?|
3) The Bourne Fisherman: Those fish may look calm. But beneath the blue-green tint of the Tennessee River, they are planning something sinister - and it is going to affect us all. The only one who can stop them is Jason Bourne. But ever since he fell out of his uncle's boat as a kid, he's feared the water. Now we're all counting on him, but the question remains: Can he brave his worst nightmare to save the world? Or we will all be swimming with the fishes sooner than we think? Catch this breath-taking thriller, in theaters this Thanksgiving.
|Now Nemo's found us. And he isn't happy about it.|