See, Elaine doesn't just make cakes. She creates goodness and awesomeness and bright sparkly unicorns in cake form. When we tasted Elaine's cake, it was like Jesus gave us each a high-five. It took every single piece of cake we'd ever tasted, combined it, sold it to a grocery store, and then had everyone laugh at that sad cake while we all ate some of Elaine's white almond goodness. And so a love story was born.
Don't get me wrong, we know the cake isn't actually sent from heaven. Sure, we tend to call Elaine - often - and ask her if she ever thinks of us. And maybe we hang around her trash cans, just to see if she's thrown any cake away. And, yes, we call her "The Cake Lady," (she's literally Elaine the Cake Lady in my phone) but that's just being respectful - it is her title, after all.
Besides, we started a revolution: Everyone we know uses Elaine now. Because she is awesome. You can enjoy the goodness, too. Not getting married any time soon? That's okay - you can just pretend and have some cake. Worried because your birthday isn't until the fall? No problem - just celebrate your half-birthday. Diabetic? This is a totally awesome way to go.
In conclusion, cake.