The 3 Greatest Tips for Wedding Planning.

A lot of people I know are really passionate or excited about a particular subject. Sports, for instance, is a big one. Crafts is another. These are both totally foreign to me but I say more power to you if you dig it.

For a long time, I didn't feel that anything was particularly my passion. Sure, I love to write, but that's just fun. And, sure, I am the Mario Kart champion, but trophies are much harder to cling to when you can only see them if the Wii is turned on.

Then my sister got married. And I discovered something:

I love weddings.

Since my sister's wedding, I have been in a lot of weddings. A lot. Like, 10. You wish I were exaggerating. And for every single one, I loved to hear about the colors and the cake and the ideas and the hugs and the candy and I love candy and do you have any candy?

All of these things have combined to make me an expert on the ways of the wedding. I cover many specialties, from Wettinquette to... well, this is only my second post on the subject. But for my THIRD one I'll have two links to share with you. Can you stand the anticipation?

This particular compendium of knowledge will bring to you The 3 Greatest Tips For Wedding Planning.  Are you ready for this? I SAID, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS. Good.

1) Understand that while your wedding is perfect in your head, no one else is in there. Hopefully.

This is a tough one for a lot of bridal homies. In your mind you can just see it all: The lime green and neon yellow polka-dot bridesmaid dresses, flowers the color of the sun and a matching squeaky toy for your dog, who will be serving as ring-bearer. And that is all fine and dandy. But you need to bring those around you into your head. Help them BE the vision. BE the vision. BE... the... vision...

Basically what that means is help people out. When they ask you if you meant marigold yellow, say NO (politely) if that isn't your vision. And then maybe take it a step further and google some examples or give another crayon shade that more closely matches the colors you need. In short, don't expect people to be mind readers. The whole process will be a lot faster if you can be clear from the beginning.

2) Know that if you ask for opinions, you will get them. 

In college, a friend of mine I'd known for a while was getting married. I asked how things were going and she said that her bridesmaids hated the color of their dresses. I asked her how she knew and she said she asked them in an email and they told her. She went on to reveal that no one had actually purchased these dresses, but she had sent out a picture and asked what they thought.

Now. I've said before that I think if the bride walks up to you and says, "Guess WHAT?! I found purple miniskirts on sale and in EVERYONE'S SIZE YAYYYYYY!" it is not your place to then say "Ughhhhhhhhh, puuuuuuuuuuuurple is uuuuuuuuugggggggllllllyyyyy." But if she emailed you a picture asking for your opinion? I think you have the right to give it to her. Nicely. Do not send back a picture of dog doo to convey your thoughts.

So, all you brides or brides-to-be out there, understand something now: If you build it, they will come. No, that wasn't it. Maybe it was Shake and shake the ketchup bottle; none will come, and then a lot'll. Still doesn't sound right. I know! It was If you ask for someone's opinion be prepared to hear their opinion. Like, for real. 

3) Abuse your friends and their wedding knowledge. 

They say it's all about who you know. For weddings, this is really, really, really true. Really. If you are anywhere from 20 to 30 years old, a friend of yours is getting married somewhere. Trust me. Sorry if you weren't invited. But they are getting married and this is your chance to make them work for you: Get recommendations of vendors, ideas, and everything. 

For rizzle. This might be the single most important step of wedding planning. The woman who made the cake for my wedding was recommended by a friend and then my sister. She had a ton of references, pictures and delicious slices for you to taste. And she turned out to be awesome. 

Or the guy who took our pictures, Allen. That guy knows how to take a picture. He was recommended to me by The Carl House, where we got married. (Daniel and me, not Allen and me).  And he was faaaabaulous. He also recommended our amazing videographer. Our florist was recommended by friends and my sister (do you see that I kind of stalked my sister's wedding when I planned my own? LEARN FROM ME.). As a result, we got a ton of top-notch people who knew what they were doing and made it fun to boot. That's a funny phrase, "to boot." Anyway, do this. Seriously. Your wedding will be awesome.

Or just go to Vegas.

Wedding Etiquette - or as I like to call it, Weddinquette

We all know I am the resident expert on etiquette.  But what you might not know is that my expertise is not limited to just general etiquette; indeed, I am a multi-faceted diamond of etiquette wisdom. My particular skill set involves weddings. I'm not talking about whom to invite, which colors go with what season or how the invitation should face in the envelope (I do know that last one, thanks to my mom. I told you I was multi-faceted). No, these rules are much more sophisticated. Ahem.

1) You cannot "steal" a color from another bride. It's a color. Possibly one of the only things on the planet that no one owns and therefore cannot be stolen. I liked pink for my wedding. And then, a few weeks later, I went to another wedding where the bride also used pink. For. Shame. She knew I liked that color. She knew I used that color. She knew I had submitted the copyright to use that shade of pink 6 whole months before. And she didn't. even. care. But that worked out, because neither did I.

2) Getting married is not a race. It's not a competition. It might just be two people getting married - crazy, I know. So when you tell me that you're getting married in June even though I am getting married in July, the appropriate response from me is not OH MY GOODNESS ARE YOU SERIOUS I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'LL BE MARRIED FOR ONE WHOLE MONTH LONGER THAN ME I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIIIIIIIIENDS. It doesn't matter. Everyone just gets married as soon as they can. So if that means you're engaged for 3 months or 3 years, it is not a race. Repeat: It is not a race. Plus just because someone gets married before me doesn't mean they'll always be married longer than me. They could very well get hit by a bus or mauled by a bear. You just never know.

3) Do not talk about the bridal hairstyles you hate, the bridesmaids dresses you find tacky, or the bridesmaids shoes you cannot stand to wear to the bride - odds are very very very good that she has chosen all of these things for her bridesmaids and she is just about to show you a picture of all of it. Oops. This is the one area where I feel like the bride can get what she wants with no objections**. If I agree to be in your wedding, then I accept the fact that I might be wearing a neon purple miniskirt in the middle of winter. That's just how it works. For example, at my wedding, I used pink AND YOU BETTER NOT STEAL IT. Pink is not my sister's favorite color. (I know this because I know my sister, not because she complained.) However, she wore the dress and got the shoes and looked fabulous, might I add. So, in the words of Nike, when it comes to that stuff, Just Do It. **This does not include cost - not everyone can afford a $300 bridesmaid dress and that doesn't go with the bride getting whatever she wants rule. 

Ain't she perdy?

4) Go ahead and get over your aversion to the YMCA. It will happen. It's the only song that a bunch of white Southerners can dance to with a reasonable degree of skill. 

5) Finally, if you are going to "take notes" at someone else's wedding for your own wedding, that's fine. But please don't bring an actual notebook with you and really take notes. This is a true story. No names have been given to protect the innocent. But you know who you are. Not. Cool.

This has been K-Veld's special wedding report.